Fieldtrip to the Fish Farm!

My dad grew up on a large farm about an hour outside of Bangkok. In Thai it is known as bahn nauk, direct translation "house outside" (i.e. country/farm house). When I was a kid, we'd go to the farm, and I'd take baths with floaties on in the river off a dock that was connected to the main house. Since my dad has 10 brothers and sisters, the farm has been parceled out to the various brothers and sisters.

My uncle, Na'Thau, turned his lot into a freshwater fish (bplah) farm along with the various fruits that are grown. The fish farm is a indication of the receding river and need for fish uncontaminated by growing pollution from Bangkok.
(Thai Fun Facts: "Na" before a person's name indicates a friend of the family or aunt/uncle who is younger than your parent. Na'Thau is my dad's younger brother. If he was older than my mom, I would still use "Na" because he is directly related to my father. "Na" is a gender neutral prefix. The prefix "Pa" indicates an older aunt or female friend of the family, while "Loong" is used for an older uncle.)

A view of the largest fish pond with a small island.

On Saturday, my dad's older sister, Pa'Pao, picked us up to go visit Na'Thau on the farm. This trip was, in my family's true style, preceded by a trip to pick up my dad's other sister, Pa'Noi, at her delicious noodle shop (where we had a late breakfast), followed by two stops around town to collect debts from people who owe my aunts money (break some legs, aunties!). Let me also preface this trip by stating that it is mango (mah-moung) harvesting season from April through May, and Pa'Noi's favorite fruit is the mango!

If you've ever heard a story about my dad, it probably involves him sitting at home eating fruit all day. Well, he does the same thing when he comes to Thailand, except he does it at the farm. We began our Saturday visit this way.

(L to R: Pa'Noi, Pa'Pao, me, lolo, Na'Thau)
A family portrait of seasoned fruit eaters.

Now, for some food fruit porn....

All of this fruit was harvested on the farm.

A medley of mangos and bananas

Cut farang (fuh-lung), which is also the word for Westerners (i.e. the White man).
My aunts thought it would be really funny for the farang (lolo) to eat his peoples.

Cut mango, ripe off the tree!

Sliced green mango with a salty/sweet/spicy shrimp spread.

This is how you eat green mango with the shrimp spread.
lolo was not so much into this combo.


The dock leading out to the fishing pond.

Logs looked kind of bored hanging out on the farm eating fruit, so Na'Thau's girlfriend gave him a fishing pole. While he loves to cast the fishing line, the thought of eating, catching or killing a fish disgusts him. (I would just like to point out that no one cared that I looked bored, nor have I ever been offered the fishing pole!)

He's getting a call... a casting call that is! 555!

Logs offered to teach me how to cast....

I lost interest about 1 minute after this photo was taken.

It was high noon and at least 100 degrees Fahrenheit while we were "fishing," so Na'Thau brought us some lounge chairs on top of the borrowed sunhats to preserve our much coveted paleness.

Logblog, looking like a lazy asshole while everyone toils in the field.

I now understand why fishing and excessive beer drinking go hand-in-hand.

Na'Thau's girlfriend caught a ginormous fish!

It was way bigger than the net.

lolo felt like a punk after seeing the doozy Na'Thau's girlfriend caught, so he decided to reel something (hopefully fish related) in....

He still, however, took no part in the actually netting, unhooking and throwing back of the fish....

Na'Thau's girlfriend, further proving that women do all the work.

Logan's fish

While we were fishing, my aunts disappeared into the field across the road.

Can you tell they're sisters?

It turns out they were harvesting mangoes to sell in the noodle shop, and, more importantly, to give to family members in excessive quantities (i.e. us!).

Mango success!

Here is a selection of Pa'Noi's favorite past time (taking pictures with trees she has planted):

Sweet Mangoes.
Getting a little suggestive with the touching of the mangoes if you know what I'm saying!

The "Mexican" mango! Can you feel the beams of pride for acquiring such an exotic prize?
I can!

For some reason limes are very expensive this season (8฿ per lime).
Good thing they have their own tree at the farm!

Random nature shots....

There are at least 4 different fruits in this picture.

Pa'Noi made me take a picture with this jackfruit tree she planted.

Up close....

and extremely personal!

This is what a cut jackfruit looks like with the edible fruit.

Pa'Pao directed further fruit photoshooting and told lolo to take pictures from her specified angles....
Friends, you may be asking yourself, "What's with Sandy's more than usual uncomfortable expression? Is the sun in her eyes?" Oh, those are just the large red ants crawling and biting me all over my neck and head! I repeatedly expressed how painful the ant bites were, to which Pa'Pao replied, "Just take the picture quickly, but you must hold the [ant infested] mango!"


When my dad first met Logan, he had trouble understanding how to pronounce his name. He quickly realized that Logan sounds like longan, a fruit found in Southeast Asia and called lum-yai in Thai. Log's family nickname has been lum-yai ever since.

The much anticipated yet unenthusiastic meeting with his lum-yai tree.

Lum-yai fruit

During all this fruit picking and posing next to fruit, Lum-yai started to get bored again. But wait! What's that coming down the way?!

IT'S THE BANANA TRUCK!!!

Ok, maybe it's not really called a banana truck, but the first time we saw it, my uncle had just picked a bunch of bananas.

Sensing Logan's impending boredom, Na'Thau decided to let us ride on the back of the truck standing up, while he offroaded.

Getting lolo off the truck was like making a kid leave Disneyland.

After a long, hot day in the country, we sat through another hour of everyone sorting through the spoils of their labor....

Banana flowers

A quarter of what was actually picked by my aunts.
(Also about how many they gave us to take home.)

So, what did we learn from our little excursion to the farm?
1) We hate bugs and any increased potential to encounter them.
2) No matter what country we are in, my family will insist on giving us unbearable amounts of fruit.
3) We love institutionalized plumbing standards (i.e. no squatty mcsquattersons please!).

Squat toilet at the farm.
(Not pictured: the bucket of water used to flush.)

Basically, we are city assholes who will avoid the squat toilet as much as possible.

Buh....

Byyye!